#SoPhi | “In order to King you, Queen Her.” By @PhillyTheBoss

by • October 19, 2011 • SoPhiComments (10)6562

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Most people use the highly Cliched term “It’s chess not checkers”. When in all actuality not everything in life is meant to be so complex. A lot of difficulties we meet in life are part of our own doing, because of the complexities we add to such simple processes.

In this topic, I’ll be talking to men on how to trim all the unnecessary bullshit out of their thought process and when to how to accept the one who may very well be “IT”.

Fellas a lot of times we set our standards based on others opinions or the worldly view on what we want. We are not all the same. Yet, we act as if we are by being stereotypical about this fake “prototypical” female we desire. Plenty of you have a woman who has all the potential in the world to be great in the confines of your home and instead of doing exactly what we ask of women to do for us; “Be there for me”, “Hold me down”, “Help me be better”, we do the exact opposite. We roam for better options all the while lying to our quality woman that’s holding down the home, whom we could work with to make for a better team. It is the ultimate betrayal, the false sense of security while shopping around for a replacement, when in fact we don’t need one.

I sit back and watch guys discuss preferences on complexions almost daily on twitter, 90% of which are unable to carry a household by themselves or better yet provide your average woman with emotional or mental stimulation and support to make that woman even want JUST you. If you are going to make a demand of someone or thing, make sure you are equipped to accept what you are requiring. Granted sometimes we unfortunately give the wrong women the “Queen” crown and learn the hard way. However, we are talking about women, who from the offset shows her loyalty and dedication to us.

Fellas it never hurts to do for a woman that is doing for you. Make Saturday night date night, you don’t even have to go out. Decide what you want for dinner from things you have or go shop for and cook together, use that time to socialize, sneak kisses. I promise no one will revoke your “too cool for school” card. Even if you can’t cook, chop a onion. Just utilize that time. Pick out a nice movie, a nice bottle of wine and just kick back. Go for a nice long drive, if need be rent a drop top. Go for a nice scenic cruise. Plan a day trip. You guys have all these apps on your phone and has yet used it to look up a nice Bed & Breakfast to drive to in a close yet distant city for just the two of you. The point is women as well as men change daily, use quality time to get to know all the new things she may like. A woman who rambles is a woman who is comfortable with communicating with you about anything. Cherish that honor.

I’m not giving this advice because I’m fake perfect or anything like that. I’ve messed up a good thing before. I was selfish, impatient, stubborn and just plainly not thinking clearly. It was a young lady from Hartford Ct. by the name of Benita, I was dealing with back in ’03. Literally perfect, for me at least. Intelligent, sexy, loyal, would literally do anything to make me happy. What did I do? Move to Miami because I got tired of cold weather, no other reason. In hind site I definitely wouldn’t have become as successful as I have if I didn’t make that move, however I’ve grown to learn success and money are slightly related whereas success and happiness are brother and sister. Maybe being with her wasn’t in the cards, yet it showed me everything that a woman should be. I was there for her, she was there for me. We never argued because roles were understood. She knew how I moved (as a few of you reading this know) in 03 so she never had my authority in question because of her actions. I messed that up, I’m man enough to take the blame.

What really let me know I screwed that up? August of ’08 my grandmother passed. The roughest moment I will ever endure in life. Guys I grew up w/ flew down to Miami to check on me and all but the thing that made me most content during my time of grief is her saying “I’m still mad at you, but I’m here”. Seriously, after 5 years of no communication. She retrieved my phone number from someone, flew to Miami booked a hotel and came by every day or stayed just to make sure I was as “ok” as I could be considering. You know how shitty one feels after that? I learned two things, “You (as in me) fucked up” and “She can hold a serious grudge”. Don’t be me. Never put yourself before a woman who would do absolutely anything within her morals to keep you happy.

Lastly fellas, before you unprotected sex with a woman, she should be your potential queen. She should be someone you can see yourself being with forever even if it isn’t forever. If you can go thru the worst times and know she will still be there in the end all the while she uses the phrases: “we”, “It will be ok baby” and she goes along for the turbulent ride with you. A quality woman/man knows “no storm last forever.” Even Noah & others only endured 40 days and nights. A woman that will stand by you, is not a woman you overlook, take for granted, nor cheat on. That is a Queen, and you should treat her as such. Your queen should only come second to God, of which both of you believe in (no matter your religion). If necessary you should as a man sacrifice your life for your woman, because the right woman has already made MANY life altering sacrifices to make you a better man. Therefore if her survival lays in the balance and you must risk your life for hers, do so.

By @PhillyTheBoss

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10 Responses to #SoPhi | “In order to King you, Queen Her.” By @PhillyTheBoss

  1. Gavee says:

    Bravo! You put your heart and soul into this post and it shows. Great piece!

  2. NikFreeman says:

    Very well written. Refreshing to see a man write what he really feels without putting on some false bravado! Nice!

  3. ramzez says:

    speaking man to man i respect & saute you !

  4. Haz says:

    I officially feel like shit after reading this smh awesome post

  5. Shizzy says:

    This was a clear outline to how men should be with their woman, no one is a piece of property no one should ever feel inadequate or worthless. I appreciate this piece because it had raw feeling, experiences. Philly i enjoyed every line.

  6. brendadc says:

    LOVE THIS!!!!

  7. singer says:

    Great information, thanks for the share!

  8. Poetyk says:

    Wonderful read! Very well said/written

  9. Cleopatra3456 says:

    Absolutely love this!

Tell me how you truly feel