New niggas. This phrase to my knowledge derived from a conversation I had w/ a homie some years back in the early 2000’s about new young buls in Philly streets. Apparently a few wanted to converse and my reply was “You know I don’t fuck with new niggas“. I liked the phrase so I started using it more frequently. It landed on Boondocks (possibly coincidental), I then posted it on twitter a few times and it took off. Even landed in rap songs I received no publishing from.. whatever. Anyway this post is about “New Niggas” no race color or creed is exempt, neither is gender.
We will try not to get into all the obvious every day things like your Skinny Jean wearers, niggas who start rap careers on their first payday at their new job etc. These are the things most of you do daily not knowing you’re a freakin weirdo.
1. Claiming sets & hoods but never been there or sworn in. How are you the only Blood/Crip from your childhood block? AND You never even been to a real prison. Know what? Don’t even answer that.
2. Wearing a belt and your pants is below ya ass cheeks. Who you advertising for my nigga? I’m not interested. Niggas w/ their pants below their waist aint even welcome in my crib.
3. Man or woman using screencap to show previous thirst/communication. Yall are like those dumb mufuckas who go to CVS, buy a pack of gum and pull out a knot of 100’s count all them shits 1 by one and then reach in ya back pocket for the 5 dollar bill to complete your purchase. You’re actually a “New Dead nigga” where I’m from.
4. Man or woman getting face and hand tats in a fucked up economy. So ya stupid ass stacking the deck against yourself? You young and black w/ face tats? I wish I would go to the company who manage my investments and see a person with a tear drop on their face, a person who married someone else on their neck and “Real nigga” on the back of their hands.
5. Men/woman who shock tweet daily hoping something sticks. Every tweet they type is a attempt to get a RT. None of what they tweet they personally believe. They’re just attempting to play to a crowd. True Lonely Tweets.
6. Will stand in line and wait for a pair of shoes at midnight, but has not 1 investment to his name. So while you in line waiting for the new J’s, I’m knockin down ya girl raw all while she’s telling me “Don’t pull out” because she know, not ONLY do I have full health benefits and a solid 401k. I got a young bul who put my J’s to the side til I get there tomorrow afternoon.
7. Any male or female opinion on music that was born after ’87. Seriously, you was out to recess playin “catch a girl get a girl” or jumpin’ double dutch when real niggas got word Pac died. There’s absolutely no way you should ever debate greats or most other music for that matter.
8. Women tweeting like niggas on twitter. We’re not gay u misguided hoe’s fuck you tweeting like a dude for? I bet some of you confused jawns tried standing up to piss once you felt you were accepted into the in crowd. Calm your joe ass down and be you. You probably feel stupid as fuck using “Yo you gotta get out da paint” off twitter.
9. Niggas with special effects on their twitter or facebook avatars. There’s no way a man should have stars, fancy writing or have a pic of himself up where the shit has a weird tint. When did you niggas become so fancy? You really need a orange glow on your pic? You had to type “Real Nigga All Day & Tomorrow” on ya pic and surround it with stars & money signs? You niggas are the newest of the new.
10. Male and females who aint making money from advertising their naked ass on twitter. Don’t “@” a dude w/ ya shirt off in ya avi bro. You fuckers with the “Hey look at me” tweets and pics are usually targets. I’m not going to give too much away because every real dude just cringed & thought “NOOOOO don’t tell em”. So Imma chill.
11. New niggas/chicks know nothing about having shrimp but no pasta, so opening two packs or ramen noodles, cooking them up tossing in the shrimp to infuse the shrimp w/ the flavor from the ramen noodles packet and having a cheap gourmet meal.
12. Niggas splurging on side chicks. She know you got a main chick, where does she expect ya money to go? If you feed her then she gotta fuck u in a alley. Make her decide, food or comfort. Stop giving ho’s with no real options otherwise, options.
13. You dudes on twitter who have chicks who are 5’s thinking that they are a 9. I’ve never seen so may choosy average ho’s in my life. Ladies stop believing all that shit. Lets face it, its the internet. Dudes want to apply their thirst and extract some pussy as quickly as possible. We peep that other nigga’s on it and honestly we already know your simple ass a fucked up decision maker thus making a dude expedite the process by saying shit he don’t believe. Yall like compliments, we like pussy. Even exchange.
14. “independent women” with no domestication skills. No ride or die qualities. Ladies be real with yourself, you independent because you have to be, not because you want to be. You new broads talk too much. If you’re gonna talk too much at least talk too much to people who don’t say shit. You new bitches talk too much to other new bitches who talk too much. Shits amazing. Lets not get started on loyalty, AND cooking? Put it like this; If we in the car and a tire go flat will you get out and change that bitch while I update my twitter status? I didn’t think so. Do your job and I’ll do mine.
15. Leaking pics of your ex, this is a no go. All you doing is making other dudes wanna put the pipe to her AND it makes other women put you on the “do not send nudes to” list. Wanna make a chick mad.. twitpic you w/ the new chick in your crib. Let her know you had the replacement already in the works. Real niggas transition, we see it ending. We detach and fake it til we replace it.
16. Creating imaginary haters for a social networking facade is the worst. No one hate u niggas & heffa’s because most of you are not successful off twitter. Some of us was good before twitter. No one gives a shit about your twitter popularity, no one is hating on you, because 9x’s outta 10 you too stupid to turn your twitter popularity into a positive for your life. Only a New nigga would hate another new nigga who has nothing.
17. Imaginary subtweets. MAN you lonely fuckers and your fake conversations are amazing. You really sub-tweeting yourself thinking your fooling us to believe you have an idiot somewhere else sub-tweeting fake sweet nothings too? Oh. Aight.
18. Chicks who are going to get their income tax for the 7th year in a row and book another “vacation” to Miami for Memorial Day weekend instead of setting up something for 8 year old “Lil Nique Nique”. Instead they bought the future criminal a name plate chain, got her some cloudy diamond earrings and said fuck her future all in the process. Leading her to a life of stealing checks and selling pussy off the iPhone just to make a way.
19. “Its Just Twitter”. Yeah aight nigga, It’s just hot lead and gun powder too. You new niggas gonna learn one day; “There are real street niggas tweeting”. All a real nigga has to do is retweet your tough talk and that’s your ass. Real dudes know there’s a thing called a ‘conspiracy’ charge. We won’t say a word. Peep the action. That retweet button got many a nigga’s bloodied noses. The phrase “Say No More” came about for a reason. Watch your tweets, save a life.
20. Being a broke dude tweeting “I don’t fuck with darkskin women” because the bul Ice stated the shit. New Nigga, listen: Big forehead having, pretty, lightskin women have options and your broke ass isn’t one. All lightskin women think they are too good for alot of shit and a dude without a source of revenue is definitely one. Stop talking that bullshit for twitter. You sound dumb as hell. A quality black woman is a quality black woman. If it’s a darkskin woman that will be holding you down be honored you clown.
21. You new hoes and your fake twitter friendships. You chicks don’t know each other, yall just lonely and messy. Stop gossiping. You dudes do it too but you chicks really out here communicating w/ chicks like you known em all your life. The crazy shit is when you new niggas and chicks tweet about people doing WAY better than yall. Then talk about someone and befriend them. Like I really watched a broad call a nigga a “Black Twitter Groupie” for weeks and then get her back blown out by the same dude. I love twitter! lol.
22. You male fashionista’s. It’s fall, a real nigga stuck his face out the door & thought “Should I put on a hoodie or just rock a shirt w/ the thermal underneath. YOU new niggas tho, “Should I wear the Gucci or louie”. Yall decision making process in the morning match that of my chick. You niggas really need his & her sinks because you take up all the bathroom time in the morning. Your chick gotta use her curling iron in the ladies room at work because you spent hours Loofa’n, exfoliating and all types of other borderline questionable shit. You nigga’s real new too.
I hope this helps some of you weirdo’s, Part 2 will drop around Thanksgiving. Giving you all something to share with your family.