#SoPhi | “The Side Chick Mentality” by @PhillyTheBoss

by • November 3, 2011 • SoPhiComments (9)6252

Look at you. just going thru his text messages

Look at you. just going thru his text messages


Many times as men we see great potential in a woman we date and we decide to make her the 1, or our “Queen”. We overlook her flaws and shortcomings, why? Well, because we see the foundation of something we can build upon and if everything goes according to plan, a great future. Sound like the man of your dreams right ladies? Exactly, but you guys go and set fire to the whole situation with your Side chick Mentality. If things are going too well, it’s overwhelming for you. You start snooping for things, you may pull away, run away etc etc. You guys get the idea of where this is headed. Below is shit that set us on fire as men, in regards to women we foresee as our “Queen”.

Letting you have your space: Say what b*tch?! We will never actually verbalize the “B” word to you, however that’s what immediately goes through our mind when you say such nonsense. So, let us get this straight; YOU are giving me enough space to find another woman to fill the space you refuse to occupy because of what exactly? I had a woman once tell me “I don’t want to crowd your space.” If I give you the title of my woman, there is no “crowding” of the space unless you having girls night out and I drag my ass there or vice versa. Any other time ladies, check in, on, with your man frequently. It’s not nagging to want to show me love and affection. You all need to realize whats a man and whats a boy. I expect my woman to want to be up under me, whether I’m in the mood or not. If you are not trying to be up under me then either you slow as hell or there is someone else. A woman who wants your man is spending every moment she can trying to get your man, why would you then give her all the time in the world to get acquainted with him? You can’t blame your man for straying at that point, no you can’t, because you abandoned your role & duties. If you don’t live with your dude how do you go all day without communication? No “How was your day today?” The Wife/Queen role don’t JUST happen when you move-in its one you play at all time to show you care about the position you were given. Space is for women who don’t want the position or too stupid to keep it.

The Great debaters: Arguing, debating, discussing your man with the next woman unless you are in a full-time threesome for a relationship is pointless. Most of you women have no clue that you are the actual weak link to your own relationships. Why? Because other women see that they can bait you into a situation not favorable for your future. The man has the role of the Head of the household for a reason. It allows the queen to never be put under distress, but YOU “new chicks” who need to be seen and heard put your simple asses in the line of fire by not knowing your place. Let’s take 1 example first. The chick who your man has been conversing with is now upset he wont take it any further than some flirting, venting and just conversation. She feels like she has been there for him when you weren’t and now see’s that he won’t leave you for her. So now she finds a way to get your attention. Lets use twitter, we have all seen it. When the irrelevant chick “@’s” the Queen and start running off at her mouth. Here’s what you don’t do: Argue with her. She has nothing to lose, all she is trying to do is make you get your crown dirty and not as polished or great we make you out to be. Seriously, when I was talking w/ a particular chick quite a few females made the statement of “She aint all that you make her out to be.”

Ladies have to understand “Queen” isn’t just some cool name we use. You have to embody that. Bill Clinton had Hilary looking all types of crazy but what did she do? “We as a family will deal with this.” Don’t start with the “but she was a first lady though” shit, It doesn’t stop a woman from leaving, and if we’re going to take it further you’re the first lady of your household. Whenever you step out no matter the circumstances you should show that your kingdom is strong. If your household/relationship isn’t we will find out when we see that you all are no longer together. That “Oh, shit.. I thought they were happy” moment is what I’m referring to. Therefore you never let a woman who has no place, clearly, because if she did she wouldn’t be coming for yours, bait you out of your position. If a chick get out of line, your man will handle that. He’s the protector. You don’t like it? Let him address the chick. WTF are you arguing for? Why show your lack of class? The mans role is the protector, once he addresses the broad its over. If you don’t like that she came at you with some bullshit, you address him. IN PRIVATE. AND PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE cut out the “I don’t see why women should be mad at each other because it’s the mans fault” crap. You don’t know her. What can she tell you about your man that you don’t already know? Your simple ass is opening the door for her to strategically add or subtract whatever. The only thing you should be mad at when you address your man is “Why does this woman feel that she has the authority to address me about you.” If you don’t understand that you are the basic of the most basic women ever.

The Games Y’all Play: Insecure women, which is quite a few of you, look for any reason to possibly blow a relationship up. ‘It can’t be this good, he’s gotta be lying or hiding SOMETHING. I’ll find out what it is.’ For what? The only thing that does is create issues. Now you want to question him and interrogate him like you’re investigating a terrorist threat against the country? Why can’t good just be good? Newsflash ladies: Men are lazy storytellers. Go ask your man what he did today. He will leave out all the info he doesn’t deem important. Why? Because it’s not important! We don’t give 2 fly squirrel shits about what your ex did. Stop trying to trap a dude into being a liar. Contrary to fake belief, a real man isn’t in the business of rebuilding women. Don’t intrigue a man into being attached to you if you are not ready. Shit like this will get you demoted to the side chick. You will suddenly be treated as a side chick. You’re not ready for a relationship so why should I allow you to keep a status you cannot maintain?

The Revenge game: If you decide to stay with a man or continue dealing with a man, revenge or doing something out of spite should ever be on your mind. It only makes your situation more toxic. Example, a guy do something you don’t like. Lets say he does cheat, ok so you go and cheat to make things “even“, however it’s not even. The perceptions of the world are different for man or woman. I for instance can go cheat and smut a chick out and she not think “oh, I can have him anytime I want”, she thinks “He just wanted to fuck”. You however you go sleep with another guy two things, 1 you either had a guy on deck you been wanting to sleep with, which will lead him to believe you are available for it again and because he has been around he will make many attempts because he is no stranger OR 2. He is a stranger, you may meet at the club and decide to have a 1 night stand, now this is where you’re labeled a hoe because he may see you out with me next week and now “Yo that’s the hoe I met last week AT Club whatever! She has a man? OH SHIT! That bitch foul.” Now, because dudes talk as much as women do it slowly spreads I’m with a hoe. Where as if you flip it, a woman may not say shit. Why? Because she see I’m with you and that I just used her to drain my sack. She may not want her girls to know that embarrassing info.

The actions of man or woman are never even. No one says this is fair, but you must realize no reaction to an action make things even. NO TWO THINGS HAVE THE SAME OUTCOME. Which leads back to being a Queen. If your man is flirtatious, you knew this prior I’m sure, If your man was flashy always out looking for attention you knew this too. Why date a guy and try to change him and when you can’t, act out of spite? So you have him looking all crazy out here because you went after someone you knew you cant handle? It’s similar to a woman asking a man for a 6 carat diamond ring, and then when people stare at it all hard you then ask him for a pistol and a bodyguard so you won’t get robbed. Don’t pursue what makes you insecure.

Ladies, to wrap this up. You either the Queen or the side chick, you cannot be both. You cannot have the role of a queen and the mentality of a side chick. If a man is looking for a queen and you’re acting like a side chick, you will be demoted or cutoff and replaced. You want a title? Own it. Successful men don’t rebuild women, we build homes, lives and foundations for women who know who they are and their place, to strive in.

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9 Responses to #SoPhi | “The Side Chick Mentality” by @PhillyTheBoss

  1. d says:

    Extremely chauvanistic.

  2. Gee says:

    Wow I agree with some it. I think you men are just greedy!

    Read my blog about “what do men want” @ http://www.virtualvaoffice.wordpress.com….

  3. amanda says:

    This article conveniently leaves out descriptions of the men that cause their women to behave like “side chicks”… believe it or not, women aren’t one bit crazy. There’s this thing called intuition. If a man is acting erratically, a woman’s intuition will lead her to investigate the cause. Men need not hastily replace their Queens for exhibiting “side chick mentality” when they know damn sure that they’re actually juggling multiple women on the side.

  4. KD says:

    The only bad thing about this blog is that it is too late! I grew up around guys so no matter how much I’m feeling a guy, I make a point to let him know that “he’s not mine so he’s free to do as he please”. Not because I don’t care but because I don’t want to appear too clingy or attention starved. Because I’m NOT! I have shit to do besides text all day and/or lay up under a man but that doesn’t mean I’m not thinking of him. So perfect example, my guy was like “I wanted to go out and eat but I didn’t have anyone to go with.” (mind you we live 2 hours apart) And my dumb ass said “well, why not?” Him: “Sooo, you giving me a pass to go out with another chick?” Me: “I’m not there so don’t miss out on my behalf.” Slaps myself for trying to be hard and heartless knowing damn well I’d be hurt if he did! How does a woman be possessive without seeming obsessive? So frustrating. Whew. I just had to vent that out. Okay, I’m good now. Keep it coming with these blogs, I enjoy them. 🙂

  5. GTFOH says:

    WOW. So I guess a so called man will give a woman he holds in high esteem the title of Queen and expects her to act accordingly, meanwhile this so called man is out acting like a pawn… Less than a pawn even. Makes perfect sense. You doormats can listen to this nigga if u want. You will wind up with herpes or genital warts because the pawn wanted to “drain his sack” on some next chick. Oh but don’t be mad, you’re still the Queen.

    • phillytheboss says:

      LMFAO.. “Who Hurt You?”…. No one is saying a man should act like a pawn. If he is you chose the wrong man and should leave. You missed the whole point maybe because this triggered some painful memories. However no one said a man should act as a pawn. YOU assumed this. A classy woman needs no reason or logic to keep it classy. Thanks for reading.

      • Qu33n Sw33t says:

        your right and she is right and u still have to blog the other side to this…. u said it yourself men and women get diff reactions for thier actions… the only thing is that shouldnt be an option… these are not old testement bible times…. aint no concubines up in here…. If i as a woman am to act according to my title….Qu33n… then you as my man are now considered my King… therefore as you stated you are my protector…. and in the same way i should assume the position under you you should gladly and wholly assume the head or top position… that leaves u no room to drain your sack….. if u r my King and i your Qu33n…. then there should be no need to constantly contact u to prove my love or need or desire for u…. i am busy like u r obviously busy if i need to hit u cause you havent hit me yet…. i dont want to have to checkin with you cause u havent checked on me yet….. and whether we live together or not the security of whether or not we have spoken all day to know that there is no one else and should know i am not thinking of someone or ne one else…. u stated i can taint the appereance of my crown…but just as easily u can do that for me as well…. be flirtatious thats kool be flashy thats kool to… but before u were MY King ur were just a joker and that was exceptable…. not any more…. u being the joker out in the square is not exceptable ne more cuz u also have crown to represent and a title to up hold

  6. Ad says:

    I’ve read all of your posts and It gives me something 2 think about as a woman. I thank you n appreciate it

  7. Josiah says:

    Major enthusiast of this site, loads of your articles or blog posts have really helped me out. Awaiting up-dates!

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