#SoPhi | Ladies: “If You Want The Position, Go For It.” by @PhillyTheBoss

by • November 9, 2011 • SoPhiComments (5)2257


As a successful man I have a very business like way of thinking about many things, including my relationships to an extent. For instance: friendships, if my buddy can come to me for a loan, advice, support etc. at any time, however I cannot have that reciprocated from him to me, there is a problem and in all likelihood I’m investing in toxic stock and should sever all ties immediately. In relationships of any kind both parts must work to keep things at a great balance. In every aspect of life there is work required. EVERY. Many times we forego the attention to detail we must put into “All things possible”, people rely on “If it’s meant to be it will be” or “I will put it in God’s hands”. The IMPOSSIBLE is made possible by not believing that it is in fact impossible and by working hard enough to accomplish what it is you desire. “God” blessed you with everything including will. Why not accept accountability and responsibility by putting things in his hands if he gave you all the tools to do for oneself? Having faith is more than expecting that if you kneel in prayer he will deliver it or make your journey to the destination you want that much easier. Pray for reassurance that you can and then MAKE IT HAPPEN.

Ladies, you HAD to know this blog was for you. I don’t date men, so when I speak mostly about relationships it’s directed at those in which us heterosexual men attract, women. From the beginning of time, men have been conquerors, some with many wives, mistresses etc. Times have changed, the process have changed, however a few things remain the same. Men with power and or money have the ability to acquire many things, not saying we should accept all, but a man with an abundance is afforded a lot of options. Women desire these successful, driven, intellectual men. However when they do not fit into the plan of said man that they desire, something has to be wrong with him. When the problem may lie in every thing you did or didn’t do upon introduction.

As I said in the beginning, many men, myself included look at a lot of things from a business standpoint. It keeps a honest perspective on different situations in life. Ladies before I delve into this, let’s be clear. NO ONE IS SAYING “Chase A Man”. Many people refuse to read things with a open and clear mind, therefore you have to place the disclaimers. A successful man knows his worth, we know our value versus the other commodities (men) out there, with that being understood you guys should understand when selecting a woman to settle with, a man “weighs” his options. What is amazing is that in all this time, with women being so much “smarter” than men, you all have yet to figure out that you guys control the length of time he weighs such options. A successful man wants a woman that is assertive yet submissive. A woman in control. Be clear, woman in control is not one who has to be seen and heard all the time. It is a woman that is in control of herself. When a man says “submissive” we’re not looking for a doormat. That is the quickest way to see yourself in a situation with a man with numerous options and unwilling to relinquish them. When we say submissive we mean allowing a man to be THE MAN. However lets concentrate on your assertiveness first.

There’s many instances where a woman’s assertiveness turns me on. I like a lil challenge here and there, that IS the quickest way to get you bent over the arm of the couch and hear nothing but dirty talk and feel nothing but aggression and pleasure. One particular instance in which I like is in the beginning. For example, I can be dating 3 different women, all of which I like numerous things about and may be on the fence about a few others. I’m not a dog for dating all of these women. In all actuality I see very little wrong with this if all lines of communication is clear on my part. The problem is in MANY instances is that there is not one woman, who steps forward and says “I’m that woman”. You guys seem timid or fearful to “rock the boat” because you have landed a guy with many great attributes and you don’t want to lose out. If he just so happen to choose you, you can’t all of a sudden become assertive, because then he will feel like once you secured your spot you changed conveniently and it will land you on thin ice. Here’s why “If you want the position, Go for it.” Show him that you are THEE woman for the job. That he only needs you. A rational and intelligent man will appreciate this, because you are taking on the duty of. It boils down to simply: If you want to be my woman, tell me. Let it be known. Take that position and run with it. Don’t sit back and wait for me to hand it to you, because in fact you may never get it from me OR another woman will assert herself into that position and you will become the casualty. Save yourself the heartache or hurt feelings behind words never said, you either want it or not. At the job you punch the clock to daily, I’m sure they don’t give the promotion to someone who JUST shows up, you have to assert yourself and take charge of what you want.

In closing ladies, again, no one is saying chase a man. We are saying things are no longer “Traditional”. Many of you don’t want to be traditional in staying home and tending to the house and children, therefore you can’t pick and choose the other aspects that are or aren’t traditional. Successful, driven, hard-working, intelligent men, with no kids (like myself) know our value, and we see what you say about the other men you date or come across daily. Why would we go through “The mediocre mans obstacle course” for you and your love? It’s not going to happen. Not in this day and time. A relationship is a even exchange, If I want you and you want me, lets both put forth the effort. Therefore, the next time a quality man comes within your reach don’t play games. Cook him a meal, burn those Ginger Peach candles from Pier 1 you haven’t burned yet and invite him over for a massage and meal and put that good word in his ear, because the other woman might be reading this and she just might. Many women lose out on good men because of their pride and traditions that are no longer of value. Don’t be her.


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5 Responses to #SoPhi | Ladies: “If You Want The Position, Go For It.” by @PhillyTheBoss

  1. OMG_itsBRINA says:

    Wow! Great words of advice.

  2. @itsPRI_destined says:

    I always appreciate the male perspective of things but I wish you would have been more specific about “in control” and “submission”…I think both of those have a negative connotation especially when talking about black women because of the stereotypes…all in all great post though.

    • phillytheboss says:

      The Blog post about “Submission” drops friday. Thank you for reading and commenting. It is really appreciated

  3. Finally finished reading! Def worth coming back to read the rest. I will def be mulling this over and perhaps applying it to real life. Like the previous poster, always good to know the male perspective =) I’ll be back for more

  4. @iLIKEMYVIEE says:

    I really enjoyed this post. It’s always refreshing to hear from a male POV & I’m suggesting all my single friends read this & take notes.

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