“Excuse me ma’am. That ‘Box’ belongs to me..”

by • November 10, 2011 • SoPhiComments (3)11270

chastity-belt

In many instances through dating casually or exclusively, women tend to not understand how “In debt” they may be. Well ladies, look no further. I’m here to explain many instances where your “box” isn’t just YOUR box. He may be a OWNER, LESSEE or a RENTER, however it may boil down there are terms and conditions to how you may use, distribute, handle and expose “Pooh’s Honey Pot”. Below are terms and conditions on the usage of the box. Please adhere as there can possibly be serious repercussions to “doing what you want”. The box ownership decisions aren’t left up to you. “We go together” until the man is tired of you. Oh you don’t believe me? Ask ya new homie about that chin checking he got because you mislead him to believe “Its over”.

Your box is hereby owned if:
1. You are in a relationship. (This is a given, however he has the right to exercise the restricted free agent tag on your box if he sees fit. Meaning you can go, but the box stays aka “We used to be in love and I need some so you should give me some.” Not to exceed 3 months-6 months.)

2. If at any point during sex he says “Who this pussy belong to?”, “Whose pussy is this” and you reply “You” or “You daddy”. That box is his until he finds a new woman he prefers to yelp that out to him. That is a verbal agreement and in certain states and jurisdictions that can be upheld in a court of law

3. If he ask you “Who do you belong to” or “Who does that pussy belong to” via text email or messaging apparatus and you reply “you”, That box belongs to him until he otherwise tells you that your contractual agreement is hereby terminated. Ladies don’t debate this. We didn’t force you to put it in writing. You did on your own free will. Electronic agreements are upheld in many states.

4. If you do not have to ask prior to coming over and you’re afforded the “hey, I’m on my way over”. Yeah. That box is VERY much owned and his until you call one day and he answers, stutters & say some shit like “I’m on my way out” and its like 3am or your access has been totally diminished.

5. If you always depending on me or asking for assistance and we are not in a relationship. Welp ma’am, I gotta put a lien on that box til you pay me back. Ya mom did tell you “Nothing in this life is free baby”. She had to, because one upon a time she came up off that box to pay a dude herself. You can’t just be getting smutted out or have other dudes in your face or the crib while you’re asking me to put a deposit down for or pay the rent on and I not see anything! That nigga always there. Have him pay it OR come to me and abide by my terms boo. “I gotchu.”

6. Simply if he tells you “That’s my pussy.” Sorry ma’am but us guys with something to live for don’t want to be leaving your home at 3am headed to our car and the crazy nigga you associate with decides he want to play real life “Call of Duty” w/ niggas, camping out in the bushes w/ a AR-15 w/ a infrared beam and a night-vision scope on it trying to score 50 extra points for a headshot. A crazy nigga will kill the biggest gangsters. You can’t defend yourself against a enemy you don’t see. Consider my mama’s tears before you just invite me over to backstroke in snatch juice.

Now, your box is hereby leased or rented if:

1. You hit me for utility bill money (30 days), groceries (14 days), gas money (7 days) nail money (10 days), hair money (21 days), to buy kids who aren’t even mine Christmas gifts (Until they break all the toys & outgrow all the clothes.)

2. You decide you want to come to the club and not pay to get in and/or pay for drinks. Please note your sponsor for that evening owns that pussy for AT LEAST 24 hours.

3. If I #HeyBoo you on twitter and follow up with a DM of which you entertain. I have that box on layaway. Until we close the deal you can’t just auction it off while I’m in the process of procuring the pussy.

4. If we go on 3 dates. Sorry to break it to you but how much ‘getting to know’ must we do before you think you coming up off that box? This isn’t a “I’m going to go to all the nice restaurants on his pocket.” Nah, this is a bartering system ma’am. After 3 dates you need to be ass naked cooking me stewed chicken on the 4th.

5. If at any point you feel like you can ask me about the next chick on any social networking site. Bringing up my twitter conversation or “HER” equates to you owing me sex. Ask me about more than 1 chick and I now own your Box. You are way too concerned about my DM explorations for me to not be vested in your box. Tread carefully.

Ladies, again these are only a few instances. If you are unsure about how deep you are in debt to the dude you are talking to, you should probably send him a text message right now and inquire. His 1st response is the honest one. I hope this helped.

Feel free to hit me on twitter @PhillyTheBoss

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3 Responses to “Excuse me ma’am. That ‘Box’ belongs to me..”

  1. Haz says:

    Yea I got some coochie to collect

  2. […] already clouded with confusion. About a month ago my homie @PhillyTheBoss posted a blog titled “Excuse me ma’am, That ‘Box belongs to me” in which he laid out the rules and regulations (or shall I say restrictions) that pertain to a […]

  3. K&p says:

    Your writing is atrocious. Learn how to use grammar, you lowly peasant.

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