So here I am making sure this May 4-6 weekend in Miami is a success and I ALMOST forget “All things great need: laws, rules and regulations.” If you know me, you know I’m short on explanations so I’m not about to explain shit to grown people. Well not that weekend. Therefore, I will take the time out right now, to provide some rules for u niggas. Take heed or get dumped in the lake out behind the house.
1. LADIES, Do not bring the sorry ass friend who won’t get chose. ESPECIALLY if you might end up staying the night at the house with one of the host. We will be in Miami and there’s tons of beautiful women. If she ugly, it would be cruel and unusual punishment to have her “watching purses” ALL night. Also leave the bitch with the bad attitude back home too. The fellas and I don’t have time for that, she will not be cock blocking fuckin up the night talking about “I’m ready to go” thus making u accompany her back to y’all hotel. Don’t fuck up our weekend. Yes, hoe in denial while reading this, I’m talking about you.
2. LADIES, If you stay the night at the crib you heffas need to huddle up first thing in the a.m. put your messy buns together and cook niggas some breakfast. The bar and fridge will be fully stocked for the weekend. Utilize them both the best you know how.
3. There will be no fights outside of a possible fight party that will be viewed on TV that saturday. I’m always strapped and there is a lake, a dock and a boat behind the house. Put 2 and 2 together and do the math.
4. Peez, Haz, Hawk, Phil, Mike, A.D., Lets make wise female selections that weekend niggas. We all know what I mean when I say that. LOL
5. Don’t tackle or be all groupie like on the celebrities that will be in attendance. Niggas trying to have fun too. Relax. Act like u been somewhere before.
6. If she’s gorgeous, by default she is Mine. Twitter laws apply when I deem that they do. So, all women are single except for whoever is mine, and if she’s the baddest chick u spot, she’s automatically mine too. Again, There is a lake right behind the house.
7. No drinking and driving. SO, I may either have a shuttle for those of you visiting the crib that Saturday or some of u may stay. but please do not drink and drive. Have a designated drive for yourself at all times. Safety first.
8. If you’re thirsty, have a drink. Do not harass the ladies. We are all trying to have a good time, keep ya “I’m tryna get some bitches” nut ass home. I’m for the Ladies safety above all else. Again, I will be strapped and there is a lake.
9. If you’re a dude, don’t ask for any handouts. Fuck you think this is? I may put a package together that covers you for when we hit the club and other events but be prepared to pay. Ladies, you too but this was especially for the dudes.
10. Have fuckin fun. If I see you bringing people down to your miserable level you will be bounced out of our immediate vicinity. Network, mingle, eat, drink, go home with memories. Don’t be a downer.
I may have more rules later, If so, I’ll let u know. But for now, this is it. Miami.. May 4-6th LETS GO!