#SoPhi: ‘The Single Boyfriend’ by @HazTV

by • March 7, 2012 • SoPhiComments (4)2870


As I type this there’s a woman somewhere in the world falling head over heels for a man that at best, could be nothing more to her than a Single Boyfriend. I can only hope that these words reach her before its too late.
– Haz

The Single Boyfriend

“If I say YES, she CAN’T say NO”

A single boyfriend is simply an opportunist. He usually only wears the label “boyfriend” because of what that title gets him and the fact that he probably wouldn’t get it without it. By nature, most women are in love with love and would rather be with one man, as opposed to most men who desire to be with many women. To make matters worse, society tends to label women who have “casual sex” as HOES which pressures many women into pressuring men into relationships PRIOR to having sex with them. The whole “I’m not fucking any man that’s not MY man” logic is created therefore the Single Boyfriend is born. Its not the same as an open relationship because in an open relationship both parties have an agreement to openly interact with other people. That’s a relationship truly based off of communication, honesty, and trust. A single boyfriend however, is really just a one sided relationship. In the end he’s YOUR boyfriend, but your not HIS girlfriend. Ever been with a guy and felt like nothing really changed after it became “official?” Ever been in a relationship and felt like you weren’t really getting anything out of it? No dates, quality time, barely even any phone conversations just texts and sex? Well then chances are you had a Single Boyfriend.

What good is Mr. Right if the time is Wrong?

Now I was once a Single Boyfriend, I’m almost ashamed to admit it being a man that pride’s himself on his complete honesty. See once upon a time there was a girl named Keisha. Keisha was perfect. Fresh off a plane from Jamaica (she definitely wasn’t a boat bitch) with an accent almost as thick as she was, I met Keisha and we immediately hit it off. She didn’t have the same mentality as most modern American women so being with her was completely different from anything I had experienced before. She’d cook for me, come over and clean MY crib without me even thinking to ask, put me first at all times, RESPECTED me as a man AND the pussy was phenomenal. As I previously stated, Keisha was perfect. I’m actually regretting this the more I write it. To make a long story short Keisha absolutely adored me. She may have loved me a little too much. See the problem was I met Keisha when I was in the middle of what’s known as a man’s “Player Stage.” I wasn’t ready to settle down and NO WOMAN was going to change that. I knew Keisha could potentially be my wife one day and knew that WHEN I was ready to commit she was the one I wanted to commit to, but I also knew that then wasn’t that time. Keisha was new to the country, in school in pursuit of a law degree and didn’t have nor want many friends. She had plenty of family here but wasn’t the type to run the streets and was perfectly content with settling down with me and making me her life. In fact it was her main goal. She basically PRESSURED me into being her boyfriend, hitting me with questions like “Am I wasting my time with you?’ and ‘What are you out there looking for that you don’t get from me?” every chance she got. Her questions were justifiable, and in that fucking accent which made coming up with a logical response even more of a challenge. She had my back against the wall and KNOWING she was a good woman I felt I’d be a fool to let her slip away. So I did what every man selfishly does in this situation. I assumed the role of the Single Boyfriend. I was happy keeping her on ice until the time was right but she demanded she be thrown into the Crock Pot as the main course. Timing truly is everything.

Women are the reason that Sex ends with EX.

Now we could focus on my selfishness but that’s not where we’ll find the lesson that’s to be learned. Women all over the world make the same mistake that Keisha did and the unfortunate part about it is they’re usually good women just as Keisha was. You see good women usually know their value and know they deserve to be some man’s woman instead of just a woman to some man. Add that to the fact that for women, sex is as much emotional as it is physical (if you can fuck with no emotion congratulations #HeyBoo me after you finish reading this) and that emotional attachment usually equates to an emotional commitment, meaning they would rather “make love to their man” as opposed to just be “fuckin their friend.” These factors make women apply pressure to the men they like in an attempt to steer them to the desired destination, A RELATIONSHIP. The problem with “wanting to be in a relationship” is you automatically give the man a cheat sheet with all the answers. If I HAVE to be your boyfriend in order to get the pussy then I can simply just “be your boyfriend” and get the pussy. Your Single Boyfriend of course. See a Single Boyfriend doesn’t necessarily mean the man doesn’t care for you or have feelings, at best you can hope to get one like I was. A man that cares about you enough to “try” and hope you stick around until he is really ready. Most women aren’t this lucky tho and end up being lied to and “cheated on” by men they THINK are their boyfriends but in all actuality they belong to everybody. Some men put up a front better than others and string women along for years and others just last as long as they can while doing the bare minimum. Ask yourself this question about your current boyfriend or most recent relationship. Would he be (have been) your boyfriend if he didn’t “HAVE” to be? Think about that for a second. Did he commit to you because he wants to be committed to you or because he wants you to commit to him? In other words he didn’t want to share you so he took you off the market thus forcing him to be taken off the market as well. I might not want you fucking other men but that doesn’t mean I want to be committed to you at the same time. What’s to stop me form being YOUR boyfriend but not really making you MY girlfriend? I once saw an episode of Cheaters where the woman called them and had her boyfriend followed and “exposed” the fact that he was married with a family and she was the actual side chick. This bitch THOUGHT she was his main woman and he actually had a wife and children. Greatest shit I ever saw in my life. The point is I’m sure if he could’ve just told her the situation and still kept her on the side he would have, but in order to have her around she had to believe she was “the only one.” Men tell women what they wanna hear because they WANT TO HEAR IT. As long as you continue you use the same answers that have been in circulation since day one the test won’t be any harder to pass. It’s just gonna get easier as time goes on. Don’t let society pressure you into pressuring him. “True Monogamy MUST Be Based Off A Decision And Not A Restriction.” A man must WANT to be with a woman that’s the only way it will work.

Now lastly I must get on the fellas. Being a Single Boyfriend is basically taking the easy way out. If you CAN’T get her to sleep with you ON YOUR TERMS then you DON’T DESERVE THE PUSSY. Telling a woman you love her, care about her, or that she is the only one in order to get her to sleep with you or be with you exclusively is for the faggots. Be honest with the women you deal with and stop trying to turn the women into hoes and the hoes into women. I was selfish. What I should’ve done was either man up and tell her the deal or charge her to the game and let her go. It’s not fair to hold somebody back until your ready unless they understand your situation and decide to stick around. I’m in a situation with a female friend of mines now that was the inspiration for this post. She doesn’t believe in sex without commitment and I respect her for that but I also know that I could wax that ass if I was in the field for a girlfriend and wanted her to be it. We get along and there’s a connection but she has her beliefs and so friends we shall remain. Now I could’ve done like most niggas and played the role of Single Boyfriend, got her to develop feelings for me, use her for sex and then end up breaking her heart leaving her scorned for the next potentially honest man to come along and deal with. The old Haz might have just strung her along like I did with Keisha keeping one foot in and one foot out until I was ready to completely commit but I decided to educate her on the Single Boyfriend theory and even forward this blog to her. We will continue to be friends and she night even gain a new found level of respect for me and let me wax that ass anyway because she CHOOSES to instead of me choosing for her. Who knows, the moral of the story is don’t make it easy for a predator to catch its prey and don’t force a potentially good man into a bad situation. I’m not gonna go into detail on how to be a Single Boyfriend for the fellas or what to look for for the ladies because that’s what the book is for. I appreciate you taking the time to educate yourself. The fact that your reading this shows me your priorities are in the right place. As always, feel free to Follow.

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4 Responses to #SoPhi: ‘The Single Boyfriend’ by @HazTV

  1. africa says:

    Love this post…enlightening!

  2. […] you fell for The Single Boyfriend routine for the LAST TIME and you’ve finally come to realize that niggas ain’t shit. […]

  3. […] you fell for The Single Boyfriend routine for the LAST TIME and you’ve finally come to realize that niggas ain’t shit. […]

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