Hey good people, I apologize for not dropping you all a gem in awhile. I’ve been working on the book “Born Rich” so I took a step back and was glad to see my guys Mike Jay, Peez and Haz carry the SoPhi Brand. Also, while I’ve been on hiatus, I’ve seen a few other “writers” step into the lane we paved. It was just yesterday many writers wanted to be comedians and hated the relationship angle. I guess it took a “real life cool dude” to make it cool. HA! Anyway, I figured I’d come back from my hiatus and attempt to give you the true gem you’ve desired.
Disclaimer: This blog isn’t for everyone. This is for grown men and women who know how to absorb and comprehend. All women are CREATED equal but the different paths they take determine their value. This is not to be applied to every woman you meet because your wife or the woman you are to take serious is entitled to things no other woman can obtain from you.
A commonly disputed aspect of dating is the courting phase. Women want to be treated and men refuse to feel cheated. Now, I’m not saying my way is right but I feel both parties are wrong with their views on courting. For starters a woman who makes herself available to the man she’s allowing to court her must realize her role. All women want the fairy tale ending without remembering the fairy tale. Your knight in shining armor has to see something in you in order to rescue you from the depressing dating scene of which you are a part. In order for you to be selected you must audition. Even if you believe yourself to be a great woman and you make yourself available to me, should I just choose you because you told me how awesome you are? Note: Ladies, a good man see’s your degrees and you paying all your bills as a bonus, and if it’s your only attribute, it could become a “turn off”. Why you say? Well, a quality man is usually a “traditional man” and he takes pride of taking care what is theirs. Therefore if we see you bragging and taking pride in being independent, we begin to think “Well why are we even on this date? Is she lonely and needed company?” Ladies should put forth the effort to prove that you deserve to be taken to the next step. You are entitled to nothing, however, if given the opportunity you have the chance at everything. Carpe Diem!
Every woman’s main goal is to be secure in some form or fashion if not all forms and fashions. Financial security is not only for her but for you as well. Fiscal responsibility is a great asset to a relationship. If I’m not mistaken, there have been studies to show that money is one of the main reasons couples argue, therefore financial security is VERY integral. This level should only be seen once the woman you take interest in, proves she is worth you taking care of her or “spoiling her”. That is the woman you take care of. She should be the type of woman that makes you feel that if you lost it all tomorrow she’d turn in your Emmanuel Stewart or Freddie Roach. She’d say things equivalent to “Get your head back into it! You can beat this.” THAT is the woman who deserves to feel every bit of secure. The greatest asset to your household is a wife with 0 stress. When all the bills are paid on time, you’re not living check to check, and you have a “rainy day” fund, your woman is content. Not every man or woman is “ready made”; therefore the “build together” approach would be an ideal mindset to have in your relationship. Again, ladies do understand what I said before: You must put forth the work to warrant a man that’s willing to take care of you. There is no entitlement program in love; you get whatever you invest.
Another part, which is most often overlooked, is MENTAL & EMOTIONAL SECURITY. Once you and a woman cohabitate, any bullshit you had going on prior, needs to immediately cease! Mental and emotional security also factors into ones overall health. Your woman cannot be at her full potential for future children, the current process of making a child, herself or you if she is under consistent pressure, stress and uncertainty. It’s a known fact that many men feel the need to cheat. It’s not “O.K.” but let’s deal with reality. Once the woman you choose moves in with you, you should cease and desist the infidelity. One good reason is because you don’t want to come home to a bonfire of your clothes, electronics and other personal objects us men adore. Another good reason is that you’re also cheating yourself out of getting the most out of your partner/spouse. The same way you would stop doing what you need to do for her if she was disloyal, is the same thing she is thinking when you’re out doing what you do and neglecting her and her emotions. Your home becomes in disarray not because she stopped doing what she needs to do, but because you keep doing what you shouldn’t. Infidelity is right up there with money as one of the top reasons for arguments between couples. For you “fake cool guys” let me speak a language you can understand. As a man from the streets, I do not think “You’re the man” because you got one chick at home and tons of chicks in the streets. It’s actually the contrary. My first thought usually is: “If you can be disloyal to a chick that holds you down like that, how can you be loyal to me? Especially when I’m not about to fuck you or top you off.” She might be the mother of your child, or wife, fiancé or could just be your girl, but she’s holding down the house! Loyalty is loyalty and family always comes first. Thus, if you can’t be loyal to the lady within your household, you damn sure can’t be loyal to me.
The final aspect of Security is PHYSICAL. Most of you are like “Oh I know!” Nah, some of you don’t. Your lady should feel that you would do anything in your power to assure no harm comes to your family. That is a part of love. Any woman I truly love, I’d die defending her honor. I have neither reservations nor second thoughts about it. I work and travel a lot, and there may be times that my lady and I aren’t in the same city. If she tells me she’s headed out for a “girls night”, I normally have guys on standby & I’m up until she text or calls to tell me she made it home. The point is that you should be willing to go to the lengths in order to protect what you love. (Disclaimer: I’m a tad bit off and HIGHLY protective. It is what it is though.) Nothing you love should be easily accessible by those who’d like to see harm done. That’s one of the main reasons a man was given the responsibility of being the “Head of the Household”. We are here to protect and deter anyone who even considers doing harm to your union. Its not about an “ego trip”- men lead, your woman provides input. Simple! That’s not it though.
Another aspect of PHYSICAL SECURITY reverts back to her health. Never ever, ever, jeopardize the temple of your woman. Not to sound cheesy, but she IS the queen of your castle. Under no circumstance should your “risky behavior” outside cause your woman to contract an STD from you. Honestly, this is one of the most dishonorable things you could do. Again, cheating should not happen and as I stated before once you move her in, it should not even be an option. However, if you are going to be disloyal, do not compound the problem with an irresponsible choice to not use protection. A high level of Security also encompasses honor and respect. It’s very simple here: Protect The Queen.
Romance & Intimacy
“If the Romance is intensive, the Foreplay doesn’t have to be extensive.” That is a quote by me that I truly believe. It’s easy for me to create romance in my home but I will attempt to help you create romance for yourself. For starters, your woman is more than a convenient piece of ass for you to get your rocks off with. Just as I said to the ladies earlier: what you put in is what you get out. Do something to make her happy. Example: instead of letting her think “I want to go somewhere and do something with him, let me plan it”, how about you think of her and plan something nice. It’s easy to plan a “Day Trip”. The same way you’re using the Internet to tweet and bullshit, you can research a nice vineyard and plan a visit. This is only an example. Drive 1-3 hours to a vineyard, take a tour, order a nice bottle of wine and have a picnic on location. Her initial statement will be something like “This is really nice babe.” Bingo! She’s activated. You have just tapped into her emotional & mental pleasure. She’s “wondering who helped you, where’s this coming from”, all the while her soul is satisfied and her heart is smiling. When a woman feels the need to thank her man for his efforts, the physical moment of intimacy is greatly enhanced. Now keep in mind, the vineyard date may not be her thing. I’m just fake fancy so don’t mind me. The point is, listen to her! Tap into what she finds intriguing and work off that. A ferry ride may do, a day cruise may work, a walk in the park holding hands talking about life together and future wants and desires may also work. If you’re not dating a “bird” she will appreciate quality time without hustle and bustle.
Being intimate with your lady doesn’t always equal sex. Not to her anyway. Being intimate is you being her puppeteer and she being your puppet. No, not in a derogatory or detrimental way. However, if you listen and operate her properly she will give you 100% control of her. (Disclaimer: Not many of us need to be told this, hence why with some guys you witness multiple women desiring him. For some of us it’s so natural, you/we/he can tap into a woman with one or a few conversations.) I’m almost willing to bet 90% of all women that if asked them about control their response would be: “I’m willing to give a man control, only if he knew what he was doing and I could trust him.” Some men don’t hear the answer “No” often, not because they look like Morris Chestnut or Idris Elba (I’m sure that helps) but it’s because they have tapped into her sub-conscious mind aka “mind-fucking”. To simply put this, tap into her mind! Once she has “bust that mental nut”, everything else is elementary.
Everything I aforementioned builds trust. Every woman wants to trust her man. Granted there are many women and men who have insecurity issues and the smallest thing will create the biggest issue. (That is another topic for another day.) When you show a woman that you have her best interest in mind, trust is accelerated. Again, I’m no Dr. Phil or anyone else. I am Philly, Real name Rich.. I speak from a common sense perspective. A perspective that many of us forget to rely on. Even I lose sight of common sense sometimes- usually only when I’m pissed off though. No one is perfect, but its getting warm out and I’m giving you a head start on cuffing that woman who just moved in down the hall that smelled like lilac with the gorgeous smile. Once she puts on that first sundress and heads outside you’re pushed to the middle of the pack. For those currently in a situation, trust me.. This blog should do your relationship much more good than harm. As long as she knows you have her best interest in hand and will catch her when she falls, what you demand will never go unanswered.
P.S. The King Back! 🙂