#SoPhi | “The Stretch Effect” By @HazTv

by • May 18, 2012 • SoPhiComments (0)1954

“Just because ya pussy work, don’t mean u gotta use it”


“How come a man can sleep with multiple women and be praised for it, but if a woman sleeps with multiple men she gets labeled as a hoe?”


It’s the age old question that refers to the double standard that mostly every woman has asked herself at least once in her life.  How come they can but we can’t? Well I’m glad that you’ve asked. After years of painstaking and penetrating research, I have formulated a theory that I believe answers that very question. Now there are many answers that one could provide for why it can be considered “more acceptable” for a man to be promiscuous than a woman, but I believe my answer is the only one that is based off of scientific evidence. I deemed it necessary to remove morals from the equation because I felt it would be hypocritical to proceed  otherwise.  As a man, I like to have sex. To quote the late “great” Dwayne Carter “I wish I could fuck every girl in the world.” Now although our current situation makes doing this impossible the reason I bring it up is because I would be stupid to feel that women didn’t feel the same way, at least on a physical level.  Therefore my moral preference on how I feel women should “carry themselves” has nothing to do with this theory. I’m not here to change your mind or talk you out of doing anything. To be quite honest with you I think the world needs hoes.





Took ya mama 9 months to make it, but it only took a nigga 30 mins to take it” 


Now the reason a woman shouldn’t attempt to mimic a man’s sexual behavior is what I like to call “The Stretch Effect.”  Yes it’s really that simple. A man can conquer ten thousand women and as long as he utilizes a shield his sword will stand strong for as long as he can wield it, but a woman can get lost in Miami on Memorial Day Weekend and when she returns back home to her man her crabby patty will never seem the same. I know hoes everywhere are probably thinking “this nigga must not know about our tricks” but trust me baby, ” ain’t no trick that can outdo the dick.” Those kegels ain’t gonna repair your walls after they’ve been pounded in and pummeled over the years. Nor will they do anything about that curtain you have hanging in the front that looks like a flap of roast beef. Real niggas don’t fuck wit Arby’s. If kegels and soaking it in vinegar and ginger were truly effective in all situations then they wouldn’t have had to come out with the abomination known as “Vaginal Rejuvenation.” If you use ya pussy so much that you need a surgery to restore it then you simply don’t deserve it. Now if you’ve given birth to a couple 10 pound babies the natural way then by all means do you boo, but it shouldn’t be used as a means to erase a woman’s “wonder years.” I thought soldiers were supposed to be proud of their war wounds no? Don’t be ashamed of your actions, a worn out pussy is a sign of some good times. If you asked me they”d be better off spending that money with a qualified professional such as myself to discover what led them down that path of destruction to begin with.



So there you have it ladies. One of the toughest questions you may ever come across really does have such a common sense answer. You can’t fuck like we fuck cause your equipment wasn’t designed for it. If your creator meant for you to do the same things we do the same ways we do them, then you would be us. Enough of all of the double standard talk, we all have roles and responsibilities that come with them. Don’t be mad that we can  pull it out, stick it in, pull it out, wash it off and act like it never happened. It’s very unfortunate that women are put in the position they are in but nobody ever said being a woman was easy. You guys are sort of stuck in a “use it before you lose it but don’t abuse it” type of situation and that’s gotta be a lot of pressure on your poor fatherless souls.  In the end it’s all about self control. Too much of anything can be a bad thing and usually is so choose wisely. Don’t be so quick to rely on your hoe manual that’s filled with all your hoe methods because chances are if you don’t have the discipline required to not NEED kegels, then you won’t have the discipline required to sit around and contract ya pussy muscles all day either. Feel free to follow

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