If you haven’t noticed yet, my titles may somewhat fool you. Do not think this blog is pandering to women, because quite frankly its not. If you know me, you are fully aware that I feel quite a few of you lack significant fundamentals in what it takes to be a complete woman to a man. HOWEVER, I really hope this ignites those little embers of hope and greatness that burns within you.
Growing up, my Grandmother played a prodigious role in my life. She mentally instilled characteristics I should look for in a wife and partner in life. When I was 8 years old she started teaching me how to cook, by first learning to bake. By 9 years old, I had perfected a pineapple upside down cake. However, learning how to make Angel Food cake from scratch on my own made her realize a lot. One being that I could make a cake that she never has or tried and Two, I never just absorbed what was given to me, I searched to learn more. Safe to say, by 10 years old I could pretty much make anything. However, at that time my grandma had realized I had take a liking to the streets. She sat me down and asked me what did I want to be, discussed life and then bluntly told me: “I’m very hip to what you’re doing, you are your fathers son and I raised him. However, you won’t be him. You will be better. I WILL make something out of you.” I did everything in my power to be in the streets to make money. She would send me for a gallon of milk, I’d take 3 hours. Make up a story on how none of the neighborhood spots had milk and how I had to walk 10 blocks to go get some from a overcrowded supermarket. I’m pretty sure she was aware that, that in fact was a lie. Why? Because I used it every time.
Over the years, my grandmother had my back. You’re saying “of course, she was raising you. Y’all were family.” True, however nothing is more interesting that when you’re grandma says: “If you do something in the streets and might get jammed up, tell me the truth. I don’t care what it is. You tell me the truth and we can figure out the story to tell them” That conversation immediately put my grandma in the “coolest chick hall of fame” It also told me, she had my bad no matter the situation. She never condoned the street life, but with a bad back and bad knees she knew chasing down an ambitious teen wasn’t in the cards. What she did do is manipulate the hell out of me. A.) Telling me I will never see the light of day if I didn’t bring home A’s and B’s (and proved it when I brought home a C in Science. I didn’t even get to go to the store one summer. I had to sit in the house and read 3 different sets of Encyclopedias she had. Yes. Book A to book Y-Z, thrice. I’m full of pointless intelligence. LOL.) 2. By making me active in the community. In case I ever got jammed. I had “character witness” amongst the elders, whom it was MANDATORY to say Good Morning to and to ask did they need anything from the store while I was headed there. I’d have to go work in gardens for free, because it built character. You don’t want to hear that as a kid but she was right. Everything she instilled molded me into the guy I am. People often say now; “You are mean as hell but you’re a teddy bear. You’re kind hearted and gentle.” Sounds bipolar but, that’s why. A great woman raised me. She brought out the best in me. Her goal was to make me see the logic in the world and pursue it. Never settle for being a dummy or not knowing because I would be mediocre. Mediocrity wasn’t successful. “Whatever you want to be, be the best at.”
My Grandmother “went home” in August of 2008. Yes, I partially feel a BIG void in my life due to it. However, it heightened my senses to what it is men need. What the most forgotten thing we should be pursuing women for and what women should offer. That all purpose person. Yes, cooking, cleaning, great sex, etc etc. All fine and dandy. What it is that brings out the greatness in a man, is a woman. A woman that can harness the energy of a great man and point it in the proper direction. I do “O.K.” for myself these days, yet I recently told someone in a discussion. IF in the last 10 years I had a personal relationship with a woman who wasn’t out for her, but us I would be THAT much greater. Women truly make men great. I look at it like this. I’m a Ferrari on the showroom floor. If no one ever comes to purchase me, I’m just a Ferrari on the show room floor. There’s no one to get me on the road and open me up, put all those horses under the hood (my mind) to work. That’s what a man is. Quite a few men. The world is riddled with men who will never see above 50% of their potential because no one was there OR the right woman wasn’t in his corner to harness his energy properly.
I witness on a daily basis women say: “I wan’t a man with A, B, C, D, E” First and foremost who says you have anything to offer that man. However “Hardworking”, “Ambitious”, “Goal Driven” is rarely said anymore. Sometimes to get get the fruits you desire, YOU have to plant the seed. Only a leech wants to benefit off the fruits of someone else labor. Sometimes you will have to be the captain of the ship. He’s a 100ft Yacht, are you going to leave it parked or are you going to figure out how to get it out to sea and enjoy the features. Men can succeed without a woman. Yes, it’s possible… BUT “A man isn’t nowhere near shit he could be without the right woman.” Don’t allow that to feed your arrogance or egos as women, allow that to re-ignite the fire that makes you want to nurture. Not only do yo have the ability to tap into your man and know his strong suit and how to hone in on that, he as a man will want to do more as well as do better for you. Ladies know and understand your role. Hard work nor Some work, never killed anyone. You also appreciate the end result more.
Don’t sit back and wait to reap the benefits of his greatness. Be a part of his greatness. ANY woman can reap benefits without adding. ANY. What do you get a man that has everything? A woman who is adding to and not just subtracting.
God bless women. I love you all.
R.I.P. “Baby”, We definitely did it… Thank You.