#SoPhi | The Word “Space” and Its Final Frontier By @PhillyTheBoss

by • September 18, 2012 • SoPhiComments (0)1174

“If its meant to be, it will be. If its real love and you let it go, it will come back to you.”The Worlds biggest dumb ass.

Someone, somewhere told women (because men do not genuinely own this; sappy, passive-aggressive logic) that if you let a man who loves you go…, and that if its real, it will be. That could be no further from the truth. In fact, unless you are the worlds greatest woman, you have a lot to lose in this instance.

The Build-up


¬†Relationships nor love should be a gamble – it’s not a game. Emotions are not to be toyed with. When two people love each other, there’s an honest effort to be made to make it work and once that effort is executed with no resolve, then it is time to dissolve. The issue lies in the arrogance in women. Due to the lack of communication in men, women begin to gain this comfort-zone of “I’m not that bad.” When in all actuality, they may not be that great. All men are different. Many are passive when it come to handling your shortcomings and they wont ever speak a word on it. Why? Because many women will never absorb whats being said. In fact a natural human instinct for most is to defend when being attacked. However when its coming from the one you love and the one you’re with, it works in your favor to listen. In business, life and love, constructive criticism helps one grow. You should never want someone in your corner who never tells you: where, how, or what is wrong. If you’re not used to a man telling you about yourself, you may not know how to handle a man that wants to make you right for him. All men have heard the “If you see so much wrong with me, then why are you with me?” line, from women who aren’t used to hearing about their miscalculations and mis-managements of their relationships and their inner workings.

The Talk
“I think we need to take a break”¬†/¬†“I think we need some space.” When a man hears this, he takes it as a break-up, and that you will be seeing other people. Even if you’re not, this is what runs through many minds. Your rhyme or reason doesn’t make sense. Why? In some cases like my homie @MrPerfect15 says, his parents have been married for years. He likely didn’t witness any “breaks.” Successful relationships don’t have breaks. They may go on vacation with EACH OTHER, but never breaks from one another. That’s PROBABLY how you landed in that situation to begin with. You two have been on a mental break so long, you relationship has started unraveling. When difficulties arise, you work harder, not less. You take the “Congress” approach to issues? Take a break? You have all these issues on the table that need working through. You told this person you “love” them, however you don’t love them enough to get in the emotional trenches to dig your way out? This is why your “Break” talk never adds up. When we hear that trigger phrase our minds run a mile a minute.

The Action
You guys take your break, the comfort he used to feel in having you ask him how his day was is what he’s yearning. No more sweet nothings in his texts, no more watching your corny ass shows just because he’s happy to have you next to him and come to find out, your corny ass show aren’t that bad at all. The first week, he’s going to try to say any and everything to end “The lockout”, meanwhile you don’t give in. His next recourse isn’t to sit there and wait it out. His natural instincts tell him to satiate his needs and desires. THIS IS WHERE YOU LOSE. Unless you are Michelle Obama in public, Marilyn Monroe in private and Mother Theresa in spirit, you have a good chance of losing him for good. Why? Because of “Her & Him.” His last memory of you is you walking away from him when times get hard. There’s no winning for you after you have broken the bond of trust and security. How can he trust that you wont ever walk out on him again? How can he feel secure with a woman who took flight? Now you opened him up to finding hope and security elsewhere.

The Result
The worst thing one of my favorite exes ever did was give me space. Allowing me to lose faith in us and trust in her. I asked 10 other men their thoughts on a break and ZERO said that they will stick around long to see the outcome. Once a man is put in the relationship setting and mindset, we have a dependency upon the nurturing of our woman. Thus, since we cannot get it from you, it will need to be had. In any aspect of life just because a certain liberty, luxury, freedom ceases doesn’t mean we will stop seeking it. My mom & my stepfather have been married 20 years. She told me about when they decided to take on their first home way back when, they only ate every style of potato or pots of chicken soup every day for months just to save up. To reach their MUTUAL goal. PRIOR to them marrying. She proved to him, how down she was for him by going through the worst to get ahead without a ring. She 20 years deep now. Is it perfect? Of course not. However, when the going gets tough, things like that push you to go further. Someone who stood by you at the worst of times. What women don’t realize is at the end of the day a real man see’s his woman as his best friend. That’s a bond you never break – unless you’re willing to lose that forever.

“If you love something, never let it go. If someone else shows it more love, it’s never coming back.” – Me

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