One of the most bothersome sayings I hear or see constantly these days is “a man can’t tell women how to be a woman”, which couldn’t be further from the truth. The issue isn’t the fact that a man is providing guidance to the woman. It’s who the woman chooses to listen and/or adhere to as well as the source. Not all men can or should lead. Therefore, not every word given to women by some men should be taken as more than a grain of salt.
The reason two-parent households are so crucial to our society is because it helps give balance to a constantly developing and evolving mind. A young man raised by his father is amazing. That father can teach him many things in regards to being a man; however, he isn’t a complete man without the experience of knowing how to empathize, be compassionate for, loving of a woman. There is no one better to teach him that than his mother. Thus why one of the most factually based statements is: “How well a man respects and treats his mother says a lot about him”. As much as the extremist sides of each gender would love to deny it, from birth to death we need the other to complete us. The village of humanity can’t properly function without balance. Don’t let someone lie to you and more so never allow you to lie to yourself saying that you’re completely alone. You’re not. Your counterpart was created because of the need for balance. I’m sure somewhere statistics show that women who have good relationships with their fathers have better relationships with men and boys.
Another issue that touches close to home for me is the destruction of the black family. When you watch recordings of history, you see the assassination of civil rights leaders, empowerment groups destroyed, as well as plants in urban areas being moved and putting fathers out of work. What follows? Savagery begins to bubble—gang life, dope addiction to cope with the realities. What was the solution to this? Bigger prisons, 3 strike laws, disproportionate sentencing, Sean Bell’s, Diallo’s, Trayvon Martins, etc. People often act as if they don’t understand the gripes the black community has with the system. Inequality went from “whites only” pies and water fountains to the government’s war on the very people who bled, sacrificed and died to build this country. Was not enough cotton picked? Then we have media anchors saying the issue is the sagging of pants and littering of urban streets. Is it? That was equivalent to the house nigga yelling outside saying, “Work faster nigger. Massa don’t take too kind to slackin’”, when the real issue is the destruction of the fabric of black America.
Controversial as this may seem, Chicago is a direct result of the system attempting to involve itself in the urban household. We are currently watching the “Don’t discipline your kids, we got solutions for this” show. For a country that refuses to take military options off the table in order to “scare straight” other countries, they sure love to tell people to remove extreme measures from their table. If you ask most kids in prison doing 20 years, they’d tell you they would much rather have that ass whipping for 5 minutes from a parent and living in fear of screwing up and then dealing with repercussions than be in the system now unable to taste their mothers cooking for another 20 years if ever again. Shall we dig up the young boys who died trying to provide for a family the government and corporations tore apart? Moved jobs out—moved cocaine in. Budgets for jails rise, schools close. The hardest hit?—Inner cities. African American babies who suffer are then moved into a foster care system where they’re hardly adopted only to run away later and repeat a venomous cycle, which leads to high rates of homelessness, children less likely to finish school, and more prone to multiple partners & STDs. Congratulations America. Everything is going as planned.
Don’t get me wrong, I’m one of the first who will tell anyone: “accountability for self is crucial”. However, the village it takes to raise these children have been ravaged for longer than the 31 years I’ve been on Earth. Just like the father who was arrested for whipping his daughters for 20 seconds per. No one stopped to say “this is a snapshot into a bigger picture” he was instantly made a villain. Even by those in his own community, without a deeper look. “He Mercilessly beat”.. “He brutally beat”. Not “What has been going on prior to this.” My grandmother used to tell me. “I told the teacher if you disrupt their class, to pop you with a ruler and then call me.” Which literally meant “You’re going to be dealt with twice.” When I was a kid, I hated it. Now that I’m adult, I realize that our community was moreso a community. Everyone had a working relationship with one another. Our parents and grandparents were prophets. They seen the day of the demise coming. They were the true rebels with a cause. The same people who complain about the system are the ones who adopted the system. The “System” for Black America isn’t one to win with, it’s one to beat. Not necessarily illegally, but to adopt & adapt to the system is a recipe for failure for the vast majority of blacks. Being responsible for oneself and self governing above all else will help reverse the trends we are currently seeing.
The World will continue to watch as the village burns. At some point there will be a point of no return. Perhaps in the very near future. Fathers immediately shackled and thrown into chain gangs. Babies torn from their parents thrown in adoption systems from which they are selected based on perceived value. The ones with none are left or discarded with minimal or little chance of survival. All while women are left not knowing which way to turn and often reduced to objects of sexual gratification. This reminds me of another moment in history… If I could only recall… If only…
@PhillyTheBoss is Author of the eBook ‘Self-Medication’, a introspective look into his life written in Journal form. It invites the reader in on a relatable journey in order the assist the reader to be introspective themselves. You can purchase Self-Medication on Amazon.com here: Self Medication On Amazon.com. ‘Self Medication 2’ Will Be available October 11, 2013