SoPhi | “The Sidechick Mentality, Part 2: Changing The Way You Think” By @PhillyTheBoss |

by • December 3, 2013 • Featured, SoPhiComments (2)3586

If you watch twitter long enough, you’ll see a nation of sidechicks. All of which who have the answers to what men should and shouldn’t be doing. You may even stumble across a few proclaimed “Hoe Coaches” and the chicks who love them and try to live out the words set forth. What men should and shouldn’t be doing, what the “hoes” sucking this information in should or shouldn’t be doing – it’s all laughable and entertaining, often times irritating; but, it’s something. It’s an epidemic. I’m not here to tell you what you should or shouldn’t be doing with your life. I’m here to enlighten. Challenge stupidity and point out flaws in logic and the way your mind processes information. Your Sidechick Mentality can, and usually will, ruin a relationship or expose your flaws and weaknesses to a man like me that can detect and analyze. The only thing that will stop us from capitalizing and ruining you even further, is us. So here, let ME help YOU.

1. You’ve been a sidechick before..
Some of you have been a willing sidechick or random jumpoff before. Now that you have a man, you’re extra sensitive to the fact that your man may have a sidechick. Any little attention any other female gets or gives, in your mind he’s making her what you used to be in YOUR mind. You see everyone as a threat because for a fact you know that there’s other women like you roaming the earth that will suck your mans dick without uttering a word. Therefore, your faith doesn’t lie in your selection of men, your faith lies in what you can see. Going through phones, checking emails, trying to hack his twitter to see DM’s. This all makes sense to you because…why? You once were what you’re afraid of, “Easy Pussy”. You’d be hard pressed to find a quality woman go through all of this because her comfort doesn’t lay in the hands of others, it lies within her own decision making capabilities. She knows other women will offer themselves up to her man. Everyone wants a piece of whats good or great. She finds comfort in knowing that she picked quality and what she offers trumps whatever a “hoe” can offer. Can and will a man possibly cheat? Yes, but it’s not her burden to bear. She’s giving it her best shot and having faith. Her life is less stressful that way. She has more time to plan activities to keep her man occupied as opposed to stalking and monitoring which only keeps her occupied. Which in all actuality frees him up to do whatever he can.

2. The Role of Girlfriend vs. Actual Girlfriend…
“If a man makes you his girl, he should do, he should give you money when you need it…” A man recently popped up on my timeline wanting to profess to all 258 of his followers how he was wronged by a chick he was with for 2 years that fucked four other men. Money has always been a form of compensation. You work, you get paid. You give information on the whereabouts of “Butch Cassidy & The Sundance Kid”, you got paid. It’s always been compensation for providing. The compensation also comes into place when a man has to compensate for his shortcomings or compensate you for being a great girlfriend. Lets break it down. Most men who throw money at a woman with no regard, is hiding something. The money is a distraction or a tool to hypnotize. It’s a tool to make you dependent. You’ve got so comfortable receiving, you wont and cant leave. Now you’re trapped. You’re no longer the main chick, because he knows: no matter how many “bitches” you find out about, you’re not likely to leave. A man will lie if he must, to protect his girl from heartache. Once we can buy you with money, discretion is gone. You have to deal with this shit. I’m paying you to, AND I know for a fact you’re too weak to be self-reliant and walk away. You’re stuck here. Your tears mean nothing because the detachment has already been made. Men will lie to the women they love in order to protect her from heartache. Even in cases where cheating isn’t involved, it’s because we don’t want to see her sad. Once you know “he’s fucking them” you’re the sidechick. Our woman is protected from matters that could harm her.

When we treat our actual woman, it’s compensation for being a great woman. My happiness is a priority, therefore she can get anything she desires. She doesn’t have to ask. Where homeboy failed is he was attempting to buy her love, never realizing he was a pawn. Some women will claim the girlfriend space simply because of the benefits that come from the man they align with. We’ve all had women who attempted to leverage their existence within our life based on money we’d give just because they say that they’re our woman. A relationship requires constant building even while married, building is work, if there is no building there shouldn’t be any compensation. While with her she gave her body to 4 other men. She wasn’t building with you, you were financing a piece of her lifestyle while she did as she pleased.

3. Keep Your Past From Haunting You…
One day, you’ll realize you’re your own worst enemy. There’s no shortcut in life. Every day requires hard work on your behalf that motivates others. People, by nature, love to be a part of something moving. It looks great and I want in. The same way many women are attracted to that man you have or had (and ran off), people can be attracted to you in that way. Each shortcut you try to take, or bad decision you make. not only in all likelihood tarnishes your public perception but it damages your very spirit. It’s what makes you the way you are, it’s what creates that internal emptiness you feel. It’s why you’re cynical and pessimistic. You’ve been looking for the shortcut for how many years when, if you would’ve done it the right way, it would have taken less time and your spiritual wholeness would still be intact. Now you’re hurt and burnt out.

In Closing..
Happiness isn’t a destination, it’s a constant journey. When you know and feel you’re on the right path, you feel good. You feel amazing about it. We all know what we should be doing. Human nature tells us to try the path that seems easiest. When the structured path is put into place for a reason. Get rid of the baggage. Choose a quality man, give him your everything, everyday. When times get hard, work twice as hard. Not all relationships end because “Its ran its course”¬†or “We grew apart.” It failed because you failed. We’ve all failed somewhere because we stopped working for something due to a sick sense of entitlement. Accept your responsibilities in this life and be rewarded for them. No one can compete with you for your man when you have the inside track on his inner workings. Imagine that, the one “shortcut” or advantage you have or had, you blew because you couldn’t realize the tools at your disposal.

I’m not here to coach.. just enlighten. Carpe Diem.

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2 Responses to SoPhi | “The Sidechick Mentality, Part 2: Changing The Way You Think” By @PhillyTheBoss |

  1. Caroline Nongwa says:

    Insightful… Not really concepts that a lot of us are not aware about as women but mostly issues that we are afraid to face and embrace for our own good. Thank you Philly, regardlessly.

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