I’ve had an attitude since at least my teenage years. You couldn’t inconvenience me, disrespect me, or even annoy me on the wrong day, without me catching a major, major, attitude. I had convinced myself that I was a feisty, don’t try me type of sista and that I was feared, respected, and loathed for all the right reasons.
One day, after years of frustration spent trying to figure out why everyone in the world was working so hard on my nerves, I finally realized; it’s not them. My negative thinking, speech, and perspective were causing every simple task I attempted to become a laborious and painful inconvenience. I couldn’t deal with any minor setback or hindrance without yelling or threatening, and my attitude was making relationships with friends and family even more difficult than it needed to be. The saddest part was that I couldn’t figure what the problem was, as most of the women around me handled their issues in the same regard.
Sometimes, no matter what you do or who you are, you might be accused as being an “angry black woman”. I’ve seen the media depict Michelle Obama as an angry black women over and over, and not to mention Rachel Jeantel, a teenager who was mocked for her diction while testifying at murder trial for her close friend. Why is it that any time a woman of color expresses her annoyance, irritation, or frustration, she is immediately being accused of being “angry”? As women of color, why do we try our hardest to verify this stereotype with our sometimes hostile and negative methods of problem solving?
While I agree that the media and often our own men are too hard on African-American women and their attitudes; I am also tired of us using this negative perception to our advantage when it’s convenient. Having an attitude simply because you’re frustrated is not okay. Your frustration is a personal problem; no one around you should be affected by it. Frustrated with your kids? Go deal with yourself first before doling out the world’s harshest punishment or reading just because you had a long workday. Store clerks acting up and you have somewhere else to be? Leave the store and come back later when you’re less busy or go to a different store. If someone inconveniences you, talk to them like a human being, explain the situation and maybe you’ll see better results? Maybe?
Black women have a history in this country like no other; and it’s important we remember that and cherish it. .Allowing yourself to get so upset that you verbally or physically lash out at another person is never warranted, or needed; no matter how badly they need to be told about themselves. On the off chance your attitude it actually is, revert back to the inconveniences thing. Cussing someone out, berating and belittling him or her, humiliating and embarrassing them for a read does nothing to solve your problem. Oh the clerk went ahead and gave you 10% off your purchase since you acted such a fool? Congratulations on not having to pay your sales tax; now good luck getting excellent service there next time.
Despite unflattering media depiction, I think we can all agree that most Black women are not loud, neck rolling chickens who spend all day complaining about nothing. We can however, agree that there is a difference between indignation, and bitchiness, and we can learn this difference. We can learn how to get someone together or teach them a lesson without being petty or passive aggressive. We can start to voice our concern and disproof in a way that is intellectual and logical, and not violent and emotional. Feeling some type of way? Girl, relax, I was talking about that hoe over there.
Tell me if you mad or nah on Twitter! (@MiaDaDeva)