#SoPhi | “My 90 Day Rule” By @PhillyTheBoss |

by • April 19, 2014 • SoPhiComments (0)2637

Before I get started, let me be clear: This is not for you. This is my approach. What works for my lifestyle and that I decided to share with you.

I hate dating. I think it gives mixed signals, mixed feelings, mixed emotions and usually only end up being good for the mixed drinks of which the relationship started upon. I’m a work-a-holic, so maybe in a weird twisted penchant for pain, I approach my relationships as I do work and the hiring process.

When dating, many people take advantage of this as a non-committal way to weigh options and get to know someone. Many times in this phase you are meeting someones representative. They give you the person you are expecting to meet, even adjusting on the fly for your approval. Oh you like someone into the arts? Next date will be at a theatre, even though they have never been in their life. Dating CAN BE the worlds biggest scam. You spend so much money & time getting to know nothing. Don’t get me wrong, it can be filled with fun, but to assume that you date with a purpose and the purpose being to learn about the other party in order to possibly take the next step, if its all a character they put together on the fly WHILE sprinkling in lil tidbits of themselves, you have been technically sold a Bugatti minus an engine and transmission. “The Display” piece so to speak. Most of you are bitter because of the representative you’ve gotten to know in past mates.

Another thing with dating is the “Catching Feelings” phase. I will be honest. If I sit you down on 2-3 great dates, you CAN NOT be out with the next man. Which I’m sure is vice versa. You women do not want to be spending time with a guy you REALLY Like that is seen out with other women all because you’re just “dating”. Dating is SUCH a complicated phase in the relationship. Friendships can be destroyed all because of the emotional ties gained with dating and the lack of communication expressed because of. For instance you may not want to scare him/her off with how you feel and have the question of “Is it too soon to express this” etc floating around in your mind. Take me for Instance, if your follow me long enough you realize I’m an Alpha Male. Whats mine IS mine. Therefore I genuinely think if I’m spending emotion on you (as someone I want to be with) which to me is more valuable than time or money, I’m not sharing you at all. Especially with guys who are beneath me and no, that’s not necessarily speaking monetarily (Example there’s a few rich rappers I’d never fuck behind. They’re clowns and there’s no way you can like me and them) It’s more than money, its about character in this case. You can’t date the King of one jungle and roll in the dirt with the irrelevant worker of another. However, before I go down this slippery slope of how horrible of a decision maker some of you women are. Let me stick to task. Dating can be fun, however it is the most intricate and delicate part of being with someone.

Let’s jump into MY 90 Day Rule. My 90 Day rule is simple. First and foremost it’s not for every candidate, but those who you have that initial interest and have had extensive “getting to know” moments, possibly someone you may have worked with or frequently interact with. There was no need for them to put on a show because you weren’t getting to know each other as a couple, it was strictly platonic originally. My 90 Day Rule Theory is this: You want the job its yours. Same as they would at work. You don’t get the full benefits up front as you wouldn’t at most places of work today. They have to know you will be around for awhile before the full on commit and spoil you with benefits. However, for 90 days the job is yours. Probationary so to speak. Instead of me dating others, or bringing in a new training class or candidate as I like to say. I will give you the opportunity to keep the position and gain all the benefits that come with. I recently wrote a blog “Who Is The Quarterback Of Your Team? and like a great QB, a quality women who wants the Job will not blow her chance at starting meanwhile putting others on the bench or better yet getting them traded to another team completely. Like work, if your 90 days is inconclusive or you have had a few lapses and I see potential in you, I may extend the probationary period instead of outright firing you, so to speak. Again, this is not something that any and everyone is entitled to. This is something for the responsible and people who showed you something within them that states they would appreciate the opportunity. Example: Give a struggling single mother who works her ass off to make sure her kids have, a house to live in with her children. She will do whatever in her power to maintain that because she appreciates the opportunity for a better way. Now give a house to a single mom in the club every week, who is wearing “Red Bottoms” but have 3 kids and staying in a 2 bedroom apartment. Her character there alone tells you, she’s too selfish to care about much outside of herself.

In theory this is about giving those who would appreciate the opportunity, the opportunity. May not work for everyone who reads this. However, it will definitely give you insight on a person. Do not use this as a time to reap material or superficial awards because its not for that. It’s to prove if the person stating “they want you” is willing to work to keep you. Relationships take work. Keeping a Job takes work. Work your ass off to see success. Like myself, save the dating for someone who has earned it. You earned the right for me to take you anywhere and to do anything for you? Why not? If a person earns that time and your emotional investment. Spoil them with it. You work hard for your money, and time costs as well, why spend it on someone who’s into “the arts” but have never been to a Broadway OR “Off Broadway” show? So spend you next 90 days proving you are worth what you request, men and women alike.

This blog is to merely provoke thought. I hope you enjoyed.

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