#SoPhi | “The Night I Received Dry, Sloppy Head” by @PhillyTheBoss |

by • July 25, 2014 • SoPhiComments (1)3621

It was a chilly winter night in Atlanta. My new interest invited me over for dinner and a movie. Sure, why not? I was in town for business. Was chilling with my homies earlier in the day, and what better way to end a day than in some pussy, right? RIGHT! I head over to her place, and she’s in some spandex short-shorts and a wife beater. She’s about 5’8 140lbs, toasted almond complexion, thick thighs, plump butt, and a flat stomach. OH! She was right and ripe. Now, I have always had a theory: “A woman with a good dick suck game will waste no time sucking your dick”. It’s kinda like when a kid learns a new trick or something in school. They come home and wanna show you how to make a marble disappear behind ya ear. Well that’s how women who have mastered fellatio are. They can’t wait to exhibit a great attribute of theirs. We’re on the couch chillin’ watching our movie, and I’m enjoying the quality time & relaxation.
Man & woman watching movie

We share a few giggles, talk a lil shit, and she snuggles up under me.. I’m thinking, “OH SHIT! It’s about to GO DOWN!”.. Nope, she just wanted to snuggle a lil more. At this point I’m like, “Would it be rude if I just pulled my dick out and just leaned it against her skull?”, but patience is a virtue I sometimes have and in this case I utilized it. Sooo I waited, and waited some more and finally my hand wandered its way down to her crotch. The little devil on my shoulder said something like, “Time to get this ball rolling bitch!”, and the ball began to roll. She let out a few moans and then proceeded to kiss me. I’m thinking: “OK! HERE WE GO!”. I mean, that’s how it starts, right? She starts at ya lips, and she runs her lips to ya neck, ya chest, and then the tip of ya dick.. well.. that’s what I’m used to.

This hussie just kept kissing me. Ma’am.. I’m moving my head back for a fucking reason: GO LOWER. Head to my neck.. shit, kiss my cot damn nipple if u must, but who the fuck kisses for 20-30 minutes?! I should have taken it as a sign, but noooooooo. I was optimistic. I said fuck it.. I unzipped my pants pulled my dick out and put her hand on it. Here’s a clue shorty: my dick is out. What are you going to do with this new information you obtained? What she do?! Try to yank the cot damn skin off my dick… BITCH! Rule #1 do not try to jack a dry dick ladies! Are you trying to give my penis an Indian burn? Good God!
2scream

I say, “Yooo, yooo chill.. my dick ain’t even wet. You tryna yank my shit off?!”. She says, “Oops, sorry”. Meanwhile, I’m thinking, “How does one mishandle the dick so terribly?!”. Me, personally, I can’t speak for most men but my penis reacts terribly to bad handling. It definitely suffers from Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder once that happens. So I go from rock hard to soft immediately… and that’s when she got the bright idea “Let me suck his dick”

Now, I’ve never been in the military, and I’m only familiar with concussion grenades via Call Of Duty; however, if I was to guess how my dick personally felt during this experience, concussive would be it. I sit back, and I hear Maddddd noise. I’m like, “OH SHIT!!!! Shorty going IN! Yes LAWD! YES!”, Eyes closed and all that shit. Low key though, I’m a filthy nigga so at some point in the first 3 minutes my penis must touch the back of your throat. I gotta hear a gag and must see a tear and to top that off extra saliva foams up on the penis and just makes it sloppy and great… once that happens, you’ll get the best dick of ya life, so don’t be shy baby. I open my eyes and look down, and I proceed to put my hand on the back of her head, which is code word for “time to go deep” in that instance. However, she didn’t follow my lead. The hussie put up resistance, stiffening her neck. I pull my dick out her mouth to give her a second to get her throat ready because I planned to occupy that space. I’m like “wait, how is this shit dry?” This broad done gave me 5 Million wet ass kisses, and now all of a sudden she has cotton mouth?! I got something for that. I grabs her by the back of her head and try to force my shit to the back of her throat… Oh, we gonna get some lather on this shit.. TONIGHT!

She puts up more resistance. I gave up. “Go head bitch, you got it”. She kept up with the dry sloppy head. Loud slurping sounds, thuds, but no spit. The slurps consisted of all air and no saliva. Just abused my dick. I actually feel bad now, because I didn’t intervene to stop the brutality. OH! But that’s not all my good friends.. that’s not all. She walks to the bathroom… and I’m left to reflect on the current events…

She comes back and says “Let’s go to bed..” I’m thinking, “Ok well I know the pussy wet”. We get to the bed, she grab my dick to give me some more wack ass head I presume, but noooo she rolled a condom onto my dick with her tongue. Jesus! Did this bitch insult and disrespect everything I stand for by putting a condom on my dick? Now understand me clearly SoPhi fam; I’m all for the safe sex. I hope y’all strap up the next time y’all get it in. BUT DAMMIT! Ain’t no way in hell a man’s dick goes through a whole sex session without getting drowned with either saliva or pussy juice. I gave her 11 minutes of semi-hard dick. Fuck you bitch. I hope you don’t ever cum again… Yet, the hussie got her orgasm AND SHOOK. How the fuck?! I pulled out and sat on the edge of the bed…
Confused-Cartoon-Face1

Took the condom off and threw it in the corner.. fuck you, hoe. I text my homie for understanding. First thing he ask me is, “How is sloppy, dry head possible?”. So wait. I been through this alone? This isn’t a common occurrence? So she really tried me, bro? I said, “My nigga, it was a ton of noise but no moisture”. He laughed at me in text and I cried.

I broke up with her right after. My dick don’t like you, I don’t like you. No point in us talking anymore. We still follow each other on twitter. She’s an ok girl, I guess. I just know she’s never getting married with her current dick sucking skill level. Too much “Wettest Sloppiest Head” videos on xvideos.com for women to be out here giving dudes’ dicks concussions. Ignorance is no excuse for underachieving. Dick sucking isn’t meant to be cute! If your mouth and his penis isn’t foamy, you’re likely giving lackluster fellatio. Til next time..

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One Response to #SoPhi | “The Night I Received Dry, Sloppy Head” by @PhillyTheBoss |

  1. Most women don’t give good blowjobs. They think they can because they deal with a lot of fuck boys, who will tell them anything. Typically, the younger she is (and still 18+), the better her head skills are. I don’t know what they are teaching, but when I was 28 I dated a 19yo, who gave me the best head ever. Then at 29, I dated a 22yo who topped that. Women 30+ think everything else they bring to the table will make up for their lack of blowjob skills. SMH.

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